


Mortal Kombat Pre-Fight Banters: The Joker

by CW2K



Series: Mortal Kombat Pre-Fight Banters [2]
Category: Mortal Kombat (Video Games)
Genre: Death Threats, Insults
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29209293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CW2K/pseuds/CW2K
Summary: HA HA HA! The Joker has arrived.Voice Actor: Richard Epcar
Series: Mortal Kombat Pre-Fight Banters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144571
Comments: 20
Kudos: 2





	1. Vs. Joker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alwaysdoubted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysdoubted/gifts).



Vs. Joker

Joker: We'll have to make do as a dynamic duo.  
Joker: Only two of us? That's an injustice!  
Joker: What we can do with the third.  
  
Joker: Two Jokers like a deck of cards.  
Joker: But we need only one.  
Joker: Right. We're not playing with a full deck.  
  
Joker: Two Jokers walk into a bar.  
Joker: And only one leaves.  
Joker: I like how you think.  
  
Joker: How many of us are there?  
Joker: Who knows? I killed at least a dozen.  
Joker: So have I.  
  
Joker: Finally, a friendly face.  
Joker: Friendly? Try deadly.  
Joker: We'll get along just fine.  
  
Joker: It's not the suit that makes the man...  
Joker: Are you my tailor?  
Joker: I'm your undertaker.  
  
Joker: Have we met?  
Joker: I just have one of those faces.  
Joker: Me too, but I still want yours.  
  
Joker: You look familiar.  
Joker: I'm you, except handsome.  
Joker: Not for long.


	2. Vs. Tanya

Vs. Tanya

Joker: Found your toys in the cereal box?  
Tanya: I use them to defend my people.  
Joker: I'm afraid they chose poorly.  
  
Joker: Care for a game of Five Finger Fillet?  
Tanya: Keep that knife to yourself, maniac!  
Joker: So much for a friendly wager.  
  
Tanya: Did Shao Kahn send you here?  
Joker: Yes, but don't tell him I told you.  
Tanya: (Venomously) You better be bluffing!  
  
Tanya: You are coming with me.  
Joker: A date, Tanya?  
Tanya: No. Your execution.


	3. Vs. Revy

Vs. Revy  
  
Joker: Didn't I kill you already?  
Revy: We've never met before, dumbass!  
Joker: I like you already.  
  
Revy: Joker, you son of a bitch!  
Joker: You look like you've seen a ghost.  
Revy: I ain't afraid of no fuckin' ghost!  
  
Revy: Even I have limits.  
Joker: Let's hear what you've got.  
Revy: No women and children. That's the rule.


	4. Vs. Jade

Vs. Jade

Joker: Ever give thought to a life of crime?  
Jade: Not once, not ever!  
Joker: What a waste of material.

Joker: What's your name again?  
Jade: I am Jade, general of Edenia.  
Joker: Right, yet you're always late.

Joker: You threw Shao Kahn right over the cliff.  
Jade: Yes. A lot of us did.  
Joker: You're just like the Justice Lemmings.

Joker: Why so prickly, princess?  
Jade: Kitana's court does not need a jester.  
Joker: But I'll make you die laughing.  
  
Jade: Which realm do you hail from?  
Joker: It's funny you should ask that./The Lazarus Pit? The Source Wall?  
Jade: Answer me, Joker!/You know what, let's skip the interrogation!  
  
Jade: The Justice League failed to stop you last time.  
Joker: And Metropolis fell down and went boom!  
Jade: Today will be different.  
  
Jade: I've never met anyone so horrid.  
Joker: Oh, sweety. It was just a joke!  
Jade: _You killed millions of people!!!_


	5. Vs. Superman

Vs. Superman  
  
Joker: Fancy another round, Superfreak?  
Superman: Why can't you stay dead?  
Joker: I always have extra lives.  
  
Joker: Don't you see, Superman? I won!  
Superman: You died. How's that winning?  
Joker: I made you lose control.  
  
Joker: Don't start fights you can't finish.  
Superman: I'll end it with one punch.  
Joker: How'd that work out for you last time?  
  
Superman: You're diseased, Joker.  
Joker: Then for Pete's sake, get me a doctor!  
Superman: What you have can't be cured.  
  
Superman: This won't be a fair fight.  
Joker: Well, not for a puny weakling like you!  
Superman: That was your last chance!  
  
Superman: How are you here, Joker?  
Joker: That Nekron, such a easy mark.  
Superman: Only you could cut a deal with the devil.


	6. Vs. Master Raven

Vs. Master Raven  
  
Joker: What a lovely sword you have!  
Master Raven: I'll cut your head off to set an example!  
Joker: Now, that's just mean.  
  
Master Raven: This will take but a minute.  
Joker: Don't want to miss your hair appointment?  
Master Raven: No. An end to your insanity.


	7. Vs. Harley Quinn

Vs. Harley  
  
Joker: You're a sight for sore eyes, Harley.  
Harley: Your eyes ain't the only thing that's gonna be sore.  
Joker: How I miss your witty repartee.  
  
Joker: You're nothing to me.  
Harley: And wow! I'm still standing.  
Joker: Not for much longer, my dear.  
  
Joker: You let Luthor talk you out of killing me.  
Harley: He was right. I outgrew you.  
Joker: Sadly you won't outlive me.  
  
Joker: What should we do after this?  
Harley: Don't know. Circus maybe?  
Joker: My dear, we _are _the circus.__  
  
Harley: You're up, Mistah J.  
Joker: Harley, you wouldn't hurt me.  
Harley: Can't make puddin' without breaking a few legs.  
  
Harley: Ready to play, Mistah J?  
Joker: How about a little rough housing?  
Harley: I'll rough your house for good!  
  
Harley: I'm working for Batman now.  
Joker: Bat's enforcer. How adorable.  
Harley: I'll enforce my foot right up your laugh track!


	8. Vs. Hellboy

Vs. Hellboy  
  
Joker: We're more in common than you care to admit.  
Hellboy: You're crazy. I'm sane. End of story.  
Joker: That's what the others thought, too.  
  
Hellboy: Why do you do what you do?  
Joker: You can't spell slaughter without laughter.  
Hellboy: You're one sick piece of crap.


	9. Vs. Nina Williams

Vs. Nina

Joker: Guns, guns, guns. Where's the art?  
Nina: I don't get paid extra for creativity.  
Joker: Phillistine.  
  
Nina: Joker...  
Joker: Nina Williams, how's your sister?  
Nina: _You don't EVER mention her!!_


	10. Vs. Melody

Vs. Melody  
  
Joker: (Whining) Melody, Batman took Harley away from me!  
Melody: You gave him sufficent reason, idiot!/She _is_ away from you.  
Joker: Did she tell you how jealous I can be?/She's never away from me!  
  
Joker: Find everything ok, madam?  
Melody: I'm not playing your game, Joker!  
Joker: We have a wide range of death.  
  
Melody: I don't have time for this stupid shit!  
Joker: You're breaking up with me?  
Melody: _I'm breaking you!_  
  
Melody: You're supposed to be dead.  
Joker: Maybe we're both dead, Melody.  
More you than me/Then this would be Hell.  
  
Melody: You're the Joker from another timeline.  
Joker: This Earth's better. I have disciples here.  
Melody: Not anymore.


	12. Vs. Bizarro

Vs. Bizarro  
  
Joker: Bizarro?  
Bizarro: People say Joker and Bizarro am mad.  
Joker: Not mad, differently sane.  
  
Bizarro: Bizarro not like clown's idea.  
Joker: Whacking Metropolis isn't on your bucket list?  
Bizarro: No. Me save Metropolis.


	13. Vs. Bo' Rai Cho

Vs. Bo' Rai Cho  
  
Joker: Is there a bar nearby?  
Bo' Rai Cho: Not the kind you're familiar with.  
Joker: I prefer shaken, not stirred.  
  
Bo' Rai Cho: What have you done to Li Mei?  
Joker: She should seriously stay away from the drugs.  
Bo' Rai Cho: _ **YOU ARE A DEAD MAN, CLOWN!!!**_


	14. Vs. Kintaro

Vs. Kintaro

Joker: Harley, your pet got out.  
Kintaro: I am no one's 'pet!'  
Joker: Back in your cage, kitty.  
  
Joker: Nice kitty.  
Kintaro: I am a Shokan, imbecile!  
Joker: Like it matters.  
  
Kintaro: Why Shao Kahn wants you is beyond me.  
Joker: I just have one of those faces.  
Kintaro: Regardless, I'll grant his wish.  
  
Kintaro: The Regime in your world was your fault!  
Joker: Whacking Metropolis isn't on your bucket list?  
Kintaro: I'll do the job properly!  
  
Kintaro: I will steal your thoughts.  
Joker: My mind's an open book.  
Kintaro: Even more so _once I crack your skull!_


End file.
